An interesting topic that my therapist and I frequently visit is the topic about the many cycles that I’ve been subconsciously caught in.
What do you mean a “cycle“?
A cycle is a series of behaviors that result in a series of results (to those behaviors) that eventually reconnect and repeat indefinitely… Well, until another behavior (or event) disrupts said series and starts a new cycle.
In my experience, it seems that many of our behaviors and moods are a direct result of a cycle that we have created.This applies to many things, including our social interactions with others.
I was first introduced to the concept of cycles by my therapist who noticed that my depression followed a particular pattern every few weeks:
- Self Deprecation
- “The Climb”
I would start out being happy. I would be content with everything in my life and everyone in it. Eventually, I would get a bit too happy and start being “hyper”. In reflecting on my actions of the day, I would see that I had upset several people and would immediately begin chastising myself, bringing my self-esteem lower and lower until I hit the depression stage. That would last a week or so, in which I would basically invalidate any self worth that I had for myself. I would go through each day by simply “going through the motions”. Finally, something decent would happen which would start my ascension to happiness and the cycle would start over and over again.
I was in a very unhealthy relationship with an extremely unhealthy person at the time. Which I also believe had a great deal to do with my depression, but the effects lingered long after the relationship ended.
So how do you break a cycle?
After identifying the various stages of my cycle, I could then develop a set of counter measures to skip parts of the cycle and create a new one.
I wanted to be happy, but I also needed to keep myself in balance to prevent myself from going overboard and causing problems for myself. However, I didn’t want to go overboard in my balancing and go to the other extreme which is depression. The linchpin was simply my self deprecation.
So, all I had to do was limit my self deprecating.
It would keep me in balance, without causing me to nosedive into depression.
So far, this process has worked like a charm.
May this post guide you in your own development.